Let's Omit The Negative

https://www.andertoons.com/women/cartoon/4043/woman-looking-at-self-in-mirror-labeled-self-check-out

Hi. Guess what? I think you are great. I see your light. I see the warmth in your heart. I know you try to do the best you can, everyday. I know you are a wonderful friend. I know you have an extraordinary sense of humor. I know you are good and smart and wonderfully flawed. Actually I think I like your flaws the most. It's your flaws that separate you from others. Physically, you are strong and emotionally you are sensitive. You are great.
Can you say that about yourself? No? Why not?
Why is it that we can look at our friends and see the most amazing things but we can not say or feel that way about ourselves? I know it is extremely difficult for me. One of my favorite things is giving compliments. I love telling someone something I see in them, that they may have over looked. Today for example, I was with family and the neighbors came out to play with all the boys. The neighbor boys were so nice and polite and they just blended so well into the group. I made sure to tell the oldest how nice it was to see him playing with the little ones. When the boy's dad came outside to check on his sons, I made sure to introduce myself, and then give him one of the best parent compliments I could. I made sure to tell him how wonderful his boys were.
Me: "Hi Tom. I'm Barbara. I have the twin boys who are 4 and this little guy Jack who is 20 months."
Tom: "Oh really they are cute."
Me: "Thanks. Hey, I just have to tell you that your boys are just playing so nicely. You have good boys. My boys are really having so much fun." (I give a head nod and smile)
Tom: "Thanks. That is really nice to hear." (Tom smiles)
Another example, at the boys spring concert one of the moms looked so chic. I loved her necklace, her dress, and she just cut her hair to a pixie. She was rocking that "cool hot mom vibe." Well as soon as I saw her, I screamed over the kids processing out of the atrium, "Kara! You look A-Mazing! I love the necklace! Does your dress come in my size?!!!" I felt the need to tell her immediately because number 1: I have short term memory loss and number 2: I wanted her to know ASAP I noticed how pretty she looked.
This was easy for me. Telling others a nice or good thing comes easily but say one good thing about myself...no...not going to happen.
Recently I started thinking about this. If I heard the boys saying something negative about themselves my heart would break.
Here is what I decided to do...I made a resolution to myself. I am going to stop talking or saying out loud the things I don't like about myself. I am not going to say things like, "oh man she has such great arms. I hate my arms. Flab. Flab. Flab."
I decided I am just going to stop. Here's the deal, I guess I don't really hate my arms. If I did I would be doing push-ups and weights everyday to try and change them. I say negative things about myself for no real good reason. I read somewhere that if everyone looked into the mirror and said out loud a compliment they would say to their best friend, self esteem issues would diminish. I still haven't mustered up the nerve to do that, but I can stop being mean to myself. My weight is my weight. My legs, arms, back, neck, butt...you know what? They are what they are. When I was in high school I thought I was "huge."
Then in College I thought I was "enormous."
Graduate school, eh, kinda normal.
Getting married, again, eh, I was so happy I couldn't see straight. (probably why I got pregnant 1 week in)
When I was pregnant. Woah. It wasn't the best weight on me.
And now I just don't have the energy to keep fighting myself. I weigh more than I did in High School and Less than I did pregnant.... WIN! My point in that ramble is that I am healthy and I am maturing enough to know I sounded very silly before.

Here is a link to a Cup of Jo post talking about similar things. Wise Words

Have a Great Weekend!

Hey! So today was the boys Spring Concert and I have to tell you...it was was something! I know I missed some of the best pictures of them dancing and singing but at one point I turned and looked at Michael. The room was packed so he grabbed two seats in the back for him and Jack-- I kinda lingered in the front. People probably thought I was a teacher so they let me stay up there. Anyway, I looked back at Mike and he was just mesmerized by them. I envy him. He can get and stay in the moment so easily. I picked up on his cue and put my phone down ... I watched.

I hope you pick up on some cues others are putting out there. I hope you take notice this weekend. 

Enjoy! Have a great blissful time! 

Let's get this Friday off right! Here are some songs on my playlist...

Cam

Zac

Kip

Maddie & Tae

Best Way to Blog

I don't know if you all realized or know this but sometimes Michael proofs my posts (typically after I have hit publish). I will be the first to admit that the English language, grammar, punctuation, diction, or spelling are none of my strong suits. However, I can rock a white pants suit like nobodies business.  (bah dum ching!). I just want to throw this out for the record. I usually misuse to and too. I am aware of this misprint. Michael has informed me of the to vs too rule of thumb. I make no promises of me correcting it.
Anyway, the other day I wrote something and I said to Michael, "I'm worried about my ... usage. I use them a lot. You know how much I love polka dots."
He responded with ease. He didn't hesitate when he said, "It's okay. You are basically typing a journal." In that instant I was transported back to when I first started this blog and I asked him for advice he said, "just make sure you put a lot of links in it. People like links."
My response was simple, "Totally. I love links."
But I now I find myself wanting to do more than just links to my favorite things and current craft projects. Right now I kinda just want to type some feelings and thoughts and get them out there. I find it therapeutic. So for me, this blog is a Manzi'd From Scratch thing. I am going to make it up as I go, from scratch. Some posts will be like a journal entry and some posts will be glitz. That is just my kind of crazy.
Right now all I keep thinking about are girlfriends. I am a girls girl. I always have been. I think it is because I like pink and things that sparkle. So does my grandmother. She always wore hot pink lipstick. My grandfather and I would take her to "unemployment" and she would wait in a line and I would watch her. I would call her hot pink lipstick her "Unemployment Lipstick." (Just said a mouthful with that one.)
 I digress, girlfriends. I have them and I love them. But you know what I miss? I miss being right near them all the time. I went to an all girls high school so we would see each other from 8:00am until 3:00pm plus after school activities. In college you live with your best girlfriends or you are a stones throw away. I miss those walks to your friends house with that red solo cup filled to the brim with Franzia. Even after college when everyone moves out, moves to the city and the party continues. I have these moments when I am driving or folding laundry when I remember one of my girls and I smile or physically laugh out loud. The other day I have no idea what I was doing but I pictured one of my friends putting on her bronzer. She makes the most ridiculous faces in the mirror to make sure it's covering her entire face. I just started laughing.
Sometimes when I have these memories my heart aches. It aches because some of you I haven't seen in years...I miss you. I think of warm smiles and contagious laughs, wild beautiful hair-do's, early bird dinners, earrings, getting splashed by septa buses in D.C. and my heart misses those days.
It's hard to make friends as an adult. I can't just stop at someones house because of my kids schedules -- their kids schedules. But I want to. I want to just throw the kids in the car, grab a bottle of red, and dixie cups and be at a girlfriends house. Paint that Norman Rockwell.
You see I feel a little better. Therapeutic. Now lets look at some links (other than the beauties that were in the journal portion).

Solid Gold Dancer Swim

My cousin just got engaged following a bike trip from Pittsburg to D.C. so I found this on Etsy.com and just loved it. They also have a cat. Engagement Gift

I feel like Mike Needs This

Knot It and I am OBSESSED with this. I miss those old Saved By the Bell looks.

Love this look...Fresh is Fresh

The Two Best Things A Mother Can Do For Herself

So things are crazy with children (I wouldn't change it but still crazy). With summer approaching I know that my minutes, if not seconds, are going to become "precious" I have no time to get a spoon for your cereal, to get you a napkin because you have just spilled for the hundredth time today, please by all means if you are hungry for a snack, go get one. I love you so much boys but come June this will turn into a self serve pump...even New Jersey is talking about becoming self serve so there is no reason why Manzi-Land can't do the same. 

All in favor Say "Cheers"

Me: 

This is Number 1

 This is Number 2

There they are. 

Number 1: Multiple disposable plastic ware caddies with Napkins (of course)

Number 2: A semi organized pantry. Please serve yourselves little ones. 

Reward Positive Behavior

So just to catch you all up, things had been getting a little un-rully in our home.
I had a breakdown, found light, and now ... (drumroll please...)
Yesterday morning the boys came down downstairs. Their little faces were still sleepy and had the pillow case impressions on their cheeks.
With smiles on their faces they told me:
"MOOOOM We Maaaade OOOOUr Beeeedddss"
(To clarify they stretched out every word for emphasis).
me: "you did?"
Them: "Yes! And we even made it the good way with the covers on it! We thought it would make you happy"
Me: "It does and I love you."

I knew I had to find someway to reward the positive behavior. What kind of a parent would I be if all I did was reward the negatives? So we made smores! (not right that second... I mean seriously I had to get a decent breakfast in them first but we ate delicious melty chocolate marshmallow graham cracker sandwiches.)  

So now here is the compromise to end all compromises...This morning Im rummaging throughout he cabinets for something to make for breakfast...I haven't been grocery shopping (wah wah wah). I find four frozen waffles, pop them in the toaster. Up they come and I proceed to put syrup on two, as I am doing this Buddy comes in and says, "I want peanut butter on mine!" I pause and look down because I am currently pouring syrup on a third waffle.
I take a sigh of relief I still have one plain and I tell him, "Sure I'll put peanut butter on yours."
Well as soon I say that Doc decided he wants peanut butter. In my head it was all over. Tantrums, crying, screaming but then I took a breath and said, "Buddy, do you think you could share half of your waffle with Doc and Docy will give you half a syrup waffle?"
He responses: "Yeah, yup I can do that because sharing means caring."

oh and please do not worry I rewarded that positive behavior almost immediatly with two bricks off a Hersey's bar left over from yesterday. I am going to need something other than sugar as a reward at some point but for now, "if you got it, use it." 

GOOD MORNING PHILADELPHIA!!!!!!!!!!!!

HALLELUJAH 

Current State Of Mind

This is very unlike me but if you read my post "I'm Fine" you may see why I am being so Un -me...
I had a sixth grade teacher Mrs. Lawn. Here is what I remember about her. She taught the entire class to mediate. Before she did these breathing exercises with the class she would read an inspirational passage. The one thing I learned from her is probably the one thing I say to myself over over ...

"We are human beings not human doings."

Each ntime I say this to myself, I take away a different perspective. Right now I am feeling a sense of calm and peace so I am going to be a human "being" and be present. Be in the moment. I still have laundry and groceries to buy but today those chores might be better than other days because today maybe I'll catch the boys saying something funny or I will notice someone or something new. 

Today I'm going to be.

Replicating Malachite

This is my latest DIY project. It did not turn out as great as I had hoped but I am still going to post the pictures and steps. I want you all to know I am in NO way perfect or GOOD at some of these DIY crafts. I just love to craft and be creative so I give things a shot and hope they come out okay. 

If you read my living room post you may have noticed the Malachite prints on the wall. I was looking online for some more Malachite accents and everything I found was a little to pricey. So I figured why not just paint a regular damn rock? So I tried and below is what I ended up with....

I went outside and picked up two rocks. I cleaned them and let them dry. 

I bought a foam brush, a can of water based polyurethane clear, some green craft paint, and some emerald green stain

I first painted the rocks with the emerald color. That was probably a mistake, I should have started lighter rather than darker. Anyway, the emerald paint had dried and then I squirting two small blobs of each other craft paint color on the rocks and smudging it around in a circular motion. Once the paint dried I added a clear coat of the Ply using a foam brush. I then added an additional clear coat just because I wanted to...

This is what I thought it would look like but it doesn't at all. Oh well! 

I'm Fine.

                                                                                                       Found on asdfghjkllove.org                                                        

Lately I have been feeling so overwhelmed with life. Overwhelmed with it all- parenting, friendships, mothering, being a wife, being the housekeeper, being well, me. It is just to much. Sometimes things are just to much...Stop...I just lied.. I don't believe that.
I am a person who truly believes you have to keep your body and mind in motion all the time. If you slow down things hit you, they hit you and they hurt. Have you ever noticed that it's easier to pedal the bike when you are already in motion? Or when you are running- your legs don't ache as much if you pick up the pace? When I allow myself to rest or "pump the brakes" it is without a doubt more difficult for me to get back in motion. My grandmother is 80 some years young and this lady refuses to quit. She is sweeping the driveway, planting flowers, grocery shopping (whether she needs groceries or not)-she does all of this after she volunteers as a "Foster Grandparent" in an underprivileged pre-school and this woman still gets her hair and nails done every week to maintain her femininity. She is a force. A force to be admired. It is through her example that I keep moving, keep adding to the pile. Most days I am up for the challenge...but not recently. All of the sudden I started having fears. Are the twins learning? When will they learn their letters? When will everyone in my house stop fighting over the dollar store toys!!!????Am I teaching them to be compassionate enough? Is Jack learning to be a nice boy? Do I yell to much?
I just had it. I was done. I just started crying. It was like a flood gate that had never opened. See I slowed down and I got hit. Hit with overwhelming emotion.
I don't cry in front of my boys; for some reason I always want them to think of me smiling. You know when you lay down at night and you think back through the details of the day? Well it's then, I want them to picture me smiling...(in reality...actually no, I am not even going to speculate how they picture me, that truth might be to much to bare.) Anyway, so here I am crying and one of the twins starts laughing. I couldn't believe it! Then I started crying more! He laughed more! Seriously?! Seriously?! Let us fast forward now to 11:00pm- I am awake-Googling "Empathy" and how to teach your children to be "empathic towards others" for example THIER HYSTERICALLY CRYING MOTHER!
The next morning I was debriefing Michael about the day/night before and I started crying AGAIN! I am lucky. I am lucky to have a husband who truly cares about my emotions and my well being. He hurts when I hurt. He called to check in a little more that day, just making sure I was "fine." That is really I could give him, "I'm Fine."
Our exchange went a lot like this:
Me- "hello?"
Him- "Hey, how's it going? How are you? How are the boys?"
Me- "yup, we're good. we're all fine."
Him- .......... "I love you"......
Me- "I love you"
The night before I had promised myself I was going to count to ten or walk out of the room if either  of the boys started to fight, scream, hit, or demand things that were ridiculous. I was going to teach them through example. So that next day I was not yelling, I was breathing- in out in out breathing- a lot of walking...breathing. It has been five days and I still haven't "yelled." I am reminding myself constantly to breath first and use a filler like "OOkayyy." I am also really trying to get on the boys level and make eye contact with them. Usually, one of the boys takes a toy from another and then someone runs in and starts giving me all the deets-I am usually busy doing something else and I don't even look at them. They get frustrated-think I am not listening- and then they return and seek their own revenge. However, for the past five days I have been pausing, turning, and looking at whoever in the eye while they are speaking. This strategy is amazing FYI, honestly just by doing that little adjustment, whoever calms down and figures out a rational solution independently.
I feel calm. At peace. Calm. Since I had slowed down I knew it would take me a little while to get up an running at my full speed again so I decided to listen to a friends advice and read, "Carry On, Warrior" by Glennon Melton.

Let me just tell you, I drank the kool-aid. This book is one of the best things I could have done for myself. We headed to the beach over the holiday weekend and I figured with a ton of supervising adults someone would obviously watch my children while I basked in the warm sunlight and read this AMAZING INSIGHTFUL WONDERFUL book. My poor brother-in -law and sister -in-law had to listen to me quote the book the entire weekend I am so obsessed with it! Last week I felt like poo and now this week I feel zen. Thank you Heather, my fellow warrior friend. 

And thank you Michael, even though I was reading, I watched you. I saw how much you did with the boys this weekend, so I could heal. You are not only a warrior father but a hero husband. 

***I have to make an addition to this post. I want to say thank you to all you strong wonderful ladies who personally reached out to me. I felt all of your hugs and all of your love yesterday. You are not alone and I know I'm not. I love you all. Lady Love! 

 

Jack Gets His Gills Trimmed

So today I took this little 'fish' to have his lady locks cut. I decided it was time because recently I was at my mom's friends house discussing lady things like curtains and buffalo chicken dip and she looked at me very seriously and said, "So seriously, what is with Jack's hair? You know your mom said that you are keeping it long because he is like the little girl you didn't have." I can not describe my reaction other than a face that is like "who me no nah no you have the wrong girl! I would never stroke and twist my sons hair and tell him how pretty he is?!?!" Hence time for me to cut these precious locks. So off we went. I made a 9:15 am apt so I was able to take the twins to school, grab some coffee, and head to the salon. I met this wonderful hair professional named Mark and seeing as he had a stylish cut himself I figured it's safe bet. 

We were there about 15 minutes early, Jack watched a young guy home from college get his hair cut first then it was his turn... I don't know how to describe this experience for me... Jack was just awful. The kind of awful when you think the person is just going to say, "yeah I can't do this...forget it" Has that happened to you with kids? When you get them somewhere you made the appointment, you planned or packed snacks and have movies on the i-pad and then someone is just like " oh forget this...reschedule" Well it has happened to me...it's so annoying. Fearing Mark telling me to reschedule I just grabbed Jack and said, "okay tell me how to hold him!" About 10 minutes later, covered head to toe in hair (both me and Jack) I paid my bill-overtipped Mark and headed to Restoration Hardware to return lamp shades. 

Let me stress, that Jack has not yet stopped crying. When we pull into the parking lot he briefly stops to check out where we are then proceeds to start crying again. The return process went exactly like this...

Jack screaming in stroller

I have to push the stroller on a "wheelie" incline bc he is somehow dragging his feet

Make return

Cashier Horrified

Exit Mall ASAP 

Jack now completely turned around in stroller SCREAMING

The drive home: SCREAMING

It was not until we pulled into the driveway and this song comes on that he calms down. 

Me: "oh welcome back my sweet boy, it is nice to meet you, I am your mother. Do you want cookies?"

Jack: "Cook - Cook. Muhlk. Mama Cook-Cook"

As if not one tear was shed. 

Here are some pics to capture the past and present...

Before 

Before

After, driving to the mall. Fish lost a gill. 

Finally happy, hours...hours later! 

Sweet Treats for a Villanova Grad!

This weekend our wonderfully smart, brilliantly funny, incredibly caring, quick witted cousin Michelle ("shell" to the boys) graduated from Villanova. Around here everyone is part of the "Nova Nation." So even though I didn't attend I sometimes feel like I one of those wildcats!
Back to Michelle, well this purdy little lady accepted her diploma on Saturday and she worked her little tail off right! Shell is not only our cousin but she baby-sits all the time for the boys. I probably do not have to tell you how much they love her. Whenever I see this chick she makes me laugh out loud. She is quick for a punch line and has an infectious smile.
This story is classic Shell: In the beginning of the spring I ordered the twins some new clothes and Buddy kept choosing orange-- I mean orange mesh, orange shirts, orange pants--- well Shell was here when the package arrived and as I opened it she instantly said, "I guess orange is the new black" hahahahaha I mean  seriously that is funny. She lives with 8 equally amazing girls and when it came time for the graduation party I told her the Manzi's would cover the sweet treats! (plus wine).
Here is what we did: Push pop containers filled with mini cupcakes
and white royal iced cookies--on the cookies I picked up some edible markers and wrote some fun hashtags

 The push pop tubes I found on amazon and I can not recommend this dessert portal enough. If I were as quick as Shell I would have made jello shots in the tubes for everyone! I really messed up on that one! I actually didn't even think about it until I had already finished the cupcakes but next time, next time! Below are step by step pictures of what I did.

 Bag of tubes above...link to what I ordered

I bought the canned icing to make my life a little easier and I squirted some on the bottom first. 

I added a mini fun -fetti cup cake

squirted another layer of icing

topped with another mini cupcake 

Blue icing on top! 

                                     
I have some extra  Styrofoam from our new chandelier so I figured that was the best way to transport the cupcakes. I actually pushed all the tubes into the foam first then I added all the cupcakes and icing. Otherwise I found it more difficult to push them in because I didn't want the cake to pop out.

This is Jack enjoying a left over....

In the above photos I am wearing three gold rings with the first initial of each of my amazing boys. I found them on Etsy so I thought I would share the link...love them so much, just a little something different then a necklace. Gold Initial Rings

Now onto the sugar cookies with royal icing. Okay let me start with---- I won't do this again! You know how people always tell you to tip your bartender---well I am telling you to tip your cookie makers and cake decorators! This stuff is tricky...tricky tricky tricky...  I purchased a LOVE cookie cutter, I had seen someone make this cookie and decorate the V in Villanova blue and white so I thought, "wow that is super cute!" Well, no. No. No. My cookie didn't hold form at ALL! I was so annoyed! I thought FORGET IT! I am just going to make round cookies and decorate them...well then I had to make the royal icing...again, NO, NO, NO. This is not something I am good at and it makes me so mad! SO here is what I found: EDIBLE MARKERS.... AMAZING!

These are what I ordered

I made round cookies and gave it my best attempt to royal ice them in white icing, then I colored hashtags and V's on them. Thank goodness for cellophane bags and cute grosgrain ribbon. I hope they held up because when we got the apt, they girls did not have AC so I'm afraid they all melted....wha wha wha....

Our Birthday Party Room is Empty No Longer...

This week...man this week...when the Manzi's move we really move...Monday began with a surge of dead tree removal. In total we removed five trees. RIP trees, your untimely demise was due to a harsh winter and new homeowners that do not know how to properly care for you...Don't freak out people! We are looking to replace at least two of the trees. Currently I am researching Magnolia trees. It has proven to be quite the education seeing as there are about seven different types. Stay tuned on that; I will absolutely be posting if "Lady Magnolia" is planted! So with trees down, me and the boys raking leaves and wood chips, our wheel barrels full- we headed through to Tuesday. Of course, I needed to fill some bare space in the yard so Tuesday was plant flowers day. Some may have been trampled already but I am hopeful I can nurse them back to life. We are very big fans of Lantana and Diamond Frost. They are both easy to take care of and grow very well while flowering all season.  This brings me to Wednesday! Yay Wednesday! Our living room furniture was delivered.
**** Disclaimer to all interior design/ decorators/persons with passions for decor- THIS ROOM IS NOT COMPLETE****

Magnolia Magnolia Number 1 inspiration

I absolutely love this spindle chair. I love light fabric on dark wood and this came out perfect 

This side table and oval coffee table were my grandparents. I have always loved their ornate Italian look and now I am lucky enough to have them in my home. These are truly something special. 

This is our curtain fabric. We have a wonderful family friend who has been gracious enough to help sew the panels and so far they are amazing!

These are our antique brass curtain rods

I also just ordered this mirror to be hung between two windows where the bar cabinet is now. It will not be in until September but I am convinced it will be worth the wait (thank you Heinz ketchup for teaching me that.)

These Malachite pieces are currently a main focal point. I fell in love with the meaning of Malachite as a positive energy source and what home doesn't need constant reminding to stay positive? 

Today I finished another DIY project by recovering our antique piano bench. I have some extra fabric from our curtains and it looks great on the bench. Every girl needs a staple gun, hot glue gun, and power drill. *** Only one of those tools was needed for this project but I just had to tell you! 

Lastly, my most favorite thing.... Our new kitchen chairs!! 

 Well that's all folks! Yes I have moved the furniture ten different ways. Yes I keep moving the spindle chair back and Michael moves it closer to the other pieces...No we do not talk about it, we just silently move it before bed or when we wake up - but all is moving along 'round 'ere...Night!

This Weeks Favorite Things

Since I have been absolutely all over the place this week I thought it would be fitting to just post a everything I have seen and fell in love with...hope you like them too!

First let me start with my new favorite "lounger"

Remember when long sweaters were the coolest...well I kinda love this one

Maybe I have been under a rock but I recently discovered Serena and Lily clothing

Austin Webb...Country on You

best clothes

Lastly, if I wasn't so insane lately... These T-shirts would be going to mom, mommy-to-be, God-mama, and grandmom !